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House of batiatus wife sexual dysfunction

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Vengeance opens with a series of reunions, ranging from very happy to mildly happy to really completely not-so-happy, all caused by Spartacus and crew returning victorious from bringing down the arena in Capua. Crixus and Naevia have their big moment when they reunite, but signs indicate that there may be trouble ahead. Really completely not-so-happy reunion: Gannicus, of course, is proving to be the proverbial muscled-up, hunky fly in the ointment. It makes him look a bit ashen and brings out too much of the crazy in his eyes.

I want my man crazy for me, not crazy in general—you know what I mean? Glaber rubs it in good that Illithyia is now dependent on him; somehow I think those tears are not for daddy.

In come a bunch of Romans, licking their wounds—though far less Romans than there should be. Ashur tells Glaber that one gladiator equals three of his Roman soldiers, and Glaber tells him to prove it. Favor number one was apparently a Norelco, because the next time we see Ashur he is cleaned up and, I must confess, looking House of batiatus wife sexual dysfunction fine.

Cleanliness House of batiatus wife sexual dysfunction with him.

Spartacus is a set of...

Lucretia comes to Ashur and gets all huffy about how he messed up their plan. Still, Ashur seems to forget who he is dealing with. Back at Vesuvius and hey, has anyone checked the calendar yet?

They do know that thing is going to blow at some point, right? Crixus is finally getting his freak on with Naevia. Unfortunately for him, Naevia starts freaking out. Apparently, after all she has suffered, the touch of any man is too much for her, even one as stubbly and sensitive as Crixus. And how do we know Crixus is a sensitive guy? Because he spends the entire episode talking in that pained hushed whisper of his. Sure, it makes House of batiatus wife sexual dysfunction a great sex voice on a two denarii -a-minute phone line, but it gets a little old after a while.

If not, it should be! Welcome back to another edition of Who Wants to Screw a Gladiator? Our scene then changes to yet another whorehouse brawl.

Seriously, after the first two or three of these, they kind of lose their impact. Yes, there are lots of boobs and bits flopping around in the background.

Can we just move the plot forward—naked guy parts! I just saw naked guy parts on television! Seriously, how come that never gets old?

But this whorehouse brawl turns out to be brief, as Ashur is here to have words with a guy who is clearly auditioning to be in the road company of the latest rendition of Stomp.

At the ludusIllithyia finds Lucretia in the bath. On Mount VesuviusCrixus and Spartacus both take turns trying to recruit Gannicus, but he prefers to generally act maudlin and sullen and whine about the whole enterprise. Seriously, when did Gannicus turn fourteen? Spartacus decides to give a big speech to rally his group—a speech pointed largely at Gannicus—but it gets spoiled when Agron and Crixus mix it up again. Spartacus tries again, taking Gannicus "House of batiatus wife sexual dysfunction" hunt and telling the story of how he came to the House of Batiatus and how everything he does is for love.

And then—my favorite moment of the episode. Spartacus has determined that every slave—not just the gladiators—needs training in the soldierly arts, that they must make weapons out of rocks and sticks until they can steal better ones, and that they need to fortify their base camp in order to survive a possible Roman attack. As someone with an awkward shoe size I can empathize—sometimes you have to go to a lot of Payless stores to find just the right pair.

Seriously, Mira, if you keep up all this awesome feminist girl power, you just might turn me. Gaius Hottius attempts to make Seppius his whipping boy and to humble himself before him all at once, all in the name of alliance. Seppius demurs, telling Glaber that he will think about it. If wishes were horses…. Seppia is just the kind of girl who needs all attention on her.

You know the type—the girl who had no female friends in high school but everyone still went to her house for parties because her parents were cool enough to let all the kids drink. You know what I mean? But if I was married to Glaber, I would have House of batiatus wife sexual dysfunction thought of a hundred ways I could totally have captured Spartacus and his band of merry hunks by now.

House of batiatus wife sexual dysfunction, Seppia sees right through this little charade, which surprised me, as "House of batiatus wife sexual dysfunction" suspected she was still trying to figure out how to wind her sundial. Glaber comes in then, and Seppia immediately coos and oohs and every woman watching the show just wants to punch Seppia in her cucaracha.

Still, Illithyia and Lucretia get what they want—all of which is designed to help free them from their current bonds with the odious men in their lives Illithyia to Glaber, Lucretia to Ashur.

While this is happeningAshur is out recruiting a little gang of crazed warriors of his own. Holy poop, he is forming his own Legion of Doom! But he will be able to gather enough men to take on Spartacus? Or does he have other plans in mind? Back on Mount Vesuvius seriously, is it getting hot there? I mean it, has someone been messing with the thermostat, or is it getting hot for another reason?

Jessica Grace Smith as Diona...

Naevia starts talking to Crixus about how she hates her name, how the girl named Naevia is dead, blah, blah, blah. First Doctore became Oenomaus.

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Then Tiberius becomes Nasir. Then Glaber becomes Captain Hottiepants. Enough with the bloody name changes! You know, I might be on to something there. She seems to be threatening suicide—but, really, she wants Crixus to train her up so no man will ever touch her again without her consent.

House of batiatus wife sexual dysfunction promises they will get vengeance and awash themselves in rivers of Roman blood—oh, Crixus, you sweet-talker, you! Frankly, this was an interesting scene. But remember one thing Naevia, between you and me: Seriously, if you learn nothing else from the re-runs of Law and Order that are on television everyday, at least learn that! Gannicus and Spartacus tangle, with neither gaining the real advantage, until Mira grabs her bow and gets all Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves on their butts—though it turns out she is aiming for blonde slave chippy, the person who really stole the map and money.

Spartacus apologizes to Gannicus and allows him to leave the camp. Whose house is it? Why, none other than Sniveling Snot-nosed Seppius Snakeface. And who is the real Lex Luthor in this cadre of crazy villains? Why none other than Gaius Hottius Glaber. And while Seppius sadly does not get punched, he does get kicked, stabbed, and stepped on before Glaber finishes him off.

I think it is safe to say that, like Stella and Angela Bassett before him, Glaber has got his groove back…. Will Ashur use it against Glaber?

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