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Why do people keep spreading the belief that "women like douchebags"? After reading AW for a while, I think we can all agree that most girls like men who are kind and considerate. I don't think a single woman here has ever said she gets horny for emotionally distant "asshole"-type guys. If you think about it for two seconds, it would make no sense for girls to attracted to arrogant guys who treat them poorly.
But on any men's subreddit, this sentiment gets a lot of support. Places like TRP are growing at an astronomical pace. My guess, take it with a grain of salt, is that this has two components.
First, we've all met women who complain about "Dating mostly douchebags" their SO. He was two hours late for our date. He's stood me up so he could play more Xbox.
I caught him Dating mostly douchebags on my best friend. The second component is jealously. The male friend thinks, "why won't she go out with me? I'm better then this jerk but she stays with him and complains about him to me So the combination of a few women complaining about their SO to a man who's jealous and wants to date the complainer leads to the conclusion, "Women don't date nice guys, only douchebags.
God damn, this is spot on. I remember being 15 and my good friend at the time was dating a very, very attractive girl. He was such an asshole to her, and I could never figure out why she was with him. I think teenagers buy much Dating mostly douchebags into the concept of a "bad boy. Mind you, the "Dating mostly douchebags" where I thought, "Why is she not with me, I'm such a nice guy" did not exist because I met her through him.
I do remember, however, she had several guy friends that were openly contemptuous of my friend when she was not around. There's a third factor, I think, is "being a douchebag gets short term results". If you're loud, attention seeking douchebag who tries to hit on everything with boobs and a pulse, eventually you'll have some luck.
It doesn't matter if you failed 20 times to succeed once, you still succeeded one more time than the guy who was too shy to try more than once. Also, women like confident people. Sometimes women can confuse douchebaggery and ego for confidence. First off, I have heard women say exactly that. They usually follow it up with a desire to want to fix them or something. I have also heard women say that they had a terrible taste in men in their teenage years when their male peers will be forming opinions on 'what girls like'.
Many men, unlike most women, Dating mostly douchebags not really taught that being attractive matters in getting a girlfriend. Or at least, they're taught that attractiveness is a composite quality consisting of other qualities kindness, loyalty, etc. This partially comes from women themselves, who often list kindness, compassion, confidence, etc when asked for what they look in a guy but often do not list 'attractiveness' even you OP, in this very post.
It also appears based on posts here and on askmen, anyway that women more than men say things like 'it's someone's personality that really makes them attractive and makes me notice them'. A great example of this is with the story arc between the male giraffe and the female hippo. None of the above is of course true.
I'm sure we all know individuals who are amazing people and who we are still Dating mostly douchebags attracted to.