She tags you in relationship memes on Facebook and expects you to like them immediately. You try to untag yourself but find yourself being mentioned, emailed and messaged on other public networks.
Only approach if you can handle her constant capital pitched voice. The short emoji messages you playfully sent to each other are replaced with long winded ones expressing get a kick from, heartache and most likely dejectedness. You find yourself being squeezed into a lunchtime date where she picks up the flag.
Tells you to add her on LinkedIn and you discover yourself adding work experience from when you were 16 to beef up your profile.
Her father will never approve of you, whoever you are. And, therefore, you, Romeo, will not meet her expectations. She stops to Instagram your dates and adds the hashtags dating, blessed and Taylor Swift lyrics.
You find a picture of yourself sleeping on her feed.
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